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Blogging
Jun. 7th, 2008 | 09:57 pm
Where I'm at: My bedroom
Mood: 
indescribable
Tunage: Life Happened - Tammy Cochran
I've decided that maybe I'll write things down. Or type, yano what I mean :P
I went to see the "Sex and the City" movie today with my best friend and second mum. I have to say, it's the best film of the year, and it's only June. LOL. I never even watched the TV show, yet I still enjoyed every minute of the movie. It made me realise a few things too. Taking risks might be worth it, because no matter what, if it's meant to be it'll always find its way. My best friend, Katie, is the one person I talk to about everything and I mean everything. LOL.
She's there for me through everything and I owe her so much. She's more than a best friend; she's the twin sister destiny forgot to give me and I don't know what I'd do without her. I'm very emotional at the moment anyways, so this is probably gonna go off into some rambling emotional essay, but I just have to get that down.
I'm really scared about where my life might be going right now, cos everything's gonna be changing. It's super-pressure with everything, with looking at universities, and deciding what I really want to do with my life - if I can do it and what it'll mean if I can, or can't. I've known for years exactly what I want to do, who I want to be. But it's still tough. And I'm so terrified of failure and what I'll do with my life if I don't make it, that I forget to take a step back and look at the big picture. At what really matters to me. The people I have around me are everything. As much as I fight so hard to be the best, to do as well as I can, even just to keep afloat of it all and keep in mind who I am, it's those people who keep me grounded. They know me by heart and they know my heart, so much so that even with one look, or even a glance away, they know that I'm hurting, or that I'm the opposite. They know my faults and love me anyway. It's means a lot to me to be grateful for what I have, even if I seem selfish sometimes. I find it hard talking about it. Really talking about it. But they know, and I don't even have to use words. A ghost of a smile can be contagious, and before we know it, we're laughing.
They show me what life is. They show me how to, for a few moments in time, forget about grades and forget about med schools and forget about all the things that take my thoughts away from the me that I have inside. They show me what my dreams are without expecting anything from me, like I expect from myself all the time. They make me laugh, instead of cry, and they hold my hand when I need to cry.
I'll get my heart broken and I'll be more damaged than I am already, I don't doubt that, as the years go on. But I know if I've got those people around me I'll always bouncce back, because no matter what...they make me who I want to be. I tend to hold it all inside and then it all comes flying out in one emotional ramble, but they show me what I can be, if I just keep hold of who I am. I'll never stop dreaming and I they'll never stop being there for me. Even if they're not by my side, they're in my heart and that's what really matters. That's what counts, because you can have a life but not really live until you find the true and complete love of the people who are most precious to you.
They bring me back to life when I'm flat on the floor and can't get any lower. I don't realise it at the time, and it's only when I'm fighting my way back up that never-ending hill that I finally see them. When you're at the top, it's hard to appreciate what you have, who you are and who you have. It's when you find yourself at the bottom that you know who you can count on. Sometimes a tearful "I love you" is the best kind of "I love you" because it's more than just three words. It's a thousand words that would have so much less impact if they were all said. It's the unspoken between those three words that really make the shot, that make you feel so much that the happiness of realising it can be painful.
So this patheticly sappy essay is dedicated to my beautiful, inspirational, amazing best friend Katie, because I don't know where I'd be in the world if I didn't have my "Samantha" to keep this "Charlotte's" feet on the ground and dreams in the sky. I love you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I went to see the "Sex and the City" movie today with my best friend and second mum. I have to say, it's the best film of the year, and it's only June. LOL. I never even watched the TV show, yet I still enjoyed every minute of the movie. It made me realise a few things too. Taking risks might be worth it, because no matter what, if it's meant to be it'll always find its way. My best friend, Katie, is the one person I talk to about everything and I mean everything. LOL.
She's there for me through everything and I owe her so much. She's more than a best friend; she's the twin sister destiny forgot to give me and I don't know what I'd do without her. I'm very emotional at the moment anyways, so this is probably gonna go off into some rambling emotional essay, but I just have to get that down.
I'm really scared about where my life might be going right now, cos everything's gonna be changing. It's super-pressure with everything, with looking at universities, and deciding what I really want to do with my life - if I can do it and what it'll mean if I can, or can't. I've known for years exactly what I want to do, who I want to be. But it's still tough. And I'm so terrified of failure and what I'll do with my life if I don't make it, that I forget to take a step back and look at the big picture. At what really matters to me. The people I have around me are everything. As much as I fight so hard to be the best, to do as well as I can, even just to keep afloat of it all and keep in mind who I am, it's those people who keep me grounded. They know me by heart and they know my heart, so much so that even with one look, or even a glance away, they know that I'm hurting, or that I'm the opposite. They know my faults and love me anyway. It's means a lot to me to be grateful for what I have, even if I seem selfish sometimes. I find it hard talking about it. Really talking about it. But they know, and I don't even have to use words. A ghost of a smile can be contagious, and before we know it, we're laughing.
They show me what life is. They show me how to, for a few moments in time, forget about grades and forget about med schools and forget about all the things that take my thoughts away from the me that I have inside. They show me what my dreams are without expecting anything from me, like I expect from myself all the time. They make me laugh, instead of cry, and they hold my hand when I need to cry.
I'll get my heart broken and I'll be more damaged than I am already, I don't doubt that, as the years go on. But I know if I've got those people around me I'll always bouncce back, because no matter what...they make me who I want to be. I tend to hold it all inside and then it all comes flying out in one emotional ramble, but they show me what I can be, if I just keep hold of who I am. I'll never stop dreaming and I they'll never stop being there for me. Even if they're not by my side, they're in my heart and that's what really matters. That's what counts, because you can have a life but not really live until you find the true and complete love of the people who are most precious to you.
They bring me back to life when I'm flat on the floor and can't get any lower. I don't realise it at the time, and it's only when I'm fighting my way back up that never-ending hill that I finally see them. When you're at the top, it's hard to appreciate what you have, who you are and who you have. It's when you find yourself at the bottom that you know who you can count on. Sometimes a tearful "I love you" is the best kind of "I love you" because it's more than just three words. It's a thousand words that would have so much less impact if they were all said. It's the unspoken between those three words that really make the shot, that make you feel so much that the happiness of realising it can be painful.
So this patheticly sappy essay is dedicated to my beautiful, inspirational, amazing best friend Katie, because I don't know where I'd be in the world if I didn't have my "Samantha" to keep this "Charlotte's" feet on the ground and dreams in the sky. I love you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx